It’s Monday evening, and I’m sitting down to write my weekly “Shuffle Sunday” column. Sunday. On Monday night.
Maybe, just maybe I should change the day and just make sure I get at least one done a week. However, the problem I have with that is that “Shuffle Sunday” just sounds too good. It rolls off the tongue. It sounds sexy. Instead, I should probably just get my shit together and make sure it happens on Sunday from now on. Sound good to you?
Sister Machine Gun “Influence”
Sister Machine Gun is the kind of band that has always managed to stay on my radar, but never fully captured my attention. Probably for a couple of different reasons. To begin with, they released an absolute shit ton of albums. Some of them good, some of them not so much. And out of all of those records, not two of them really sounded alike. Sure, there is the common industrial thread that runs throughout, but many of the albums themselves sound like they could’ve been by different artists. Secondly, I went to see SMG on (what I think) was their last full US tour and it was probably one of the more embarrassing shows I’ve been to. I was excited about the show, but roughly only 40 other people got the memo that they were even in town. Suck. The band tried to play it off, but it came across as a pretty bad night all around. Chris Randall was a really cool guy though and Levi played bass for ’em, so those were some saving graces. This song here is pretty alright though. It’s got a great bassline and a nice four on the floor dance beat. On second thought, this song is actually pretty infectious. If you like the Chicago industrial sound of the 90’s, I would absolutely recommend this track and album.
The Beatles “Cry For A Shadow”
Paul McCartney just won’t fuck off apparently. I was never a Beatles fan growing up (which gets me lots of disappointed looks from music buffs) and although I appreciate them now and do enjoy them from time to time, I still could go without 75% of their catalog. This song is certainly of no exception to that rule. All of the fundamental elements of the early Beatles songs can be found in “Cry For A Shadow” with the exception of any lyrics or (barely) vocals. It’s got a good rhythm and some familiar jangly 50’s guitar, but that’s about it. To me, this just sounds like a Dick Dale B-side. Not that it’s a bad song, just not a song I need to hear more than once (unfortunately, I’ve heard it 3 times while typing this). And Beatles fans, don’t get all worked up and bitchy with me for reviewing a song that was essentially “archive” material. I know the Beatles did better songs than this one, but this is what the shuffle gave me. Shuffle answers to no one.
Shakira “Mon Amour”
I cannot for the life of me figure out Shakira. It’s not that she writes bad songs (in fact, I really like the majority of the singles she’s released) but the delivery of the material leaves me wondering what the fuck just happened. Everytime I hear Shakira’s weird-ass warbling and horn-like voice, I feel like I just spent the weekend deep in a K-hole at a Mexican Brothel. It always sounds like a great idea, until it starts happening. Then you just want it to be over.
I’ve always secretly wondered if she really sounds like that. You think if you were to talk to Shakira, she would sound like the sexiest lady wookie ever? Maybe the dude mixing her records just wants to fuck with her? Who knows. Clearly though, I have no clue what I’m talking about because she sells an absolute shitload of records. And people flock to see her in concert. That crazy set of pipes she has obviously has some appeal. I just can’t find it.
Danny Elfman “End Credits”
Listening to a Danny Elfman movie score is a lot like eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup. It will always leave you satisfied, but the recipe never really changes. Elfman has become a master at creating audio chicken noodle soup. Recipe goes like this. Start with creepy, medium paced string section. Add equal parts of women chorus singers (important that they do not say any actual words, just moaning and oooohhhhhhh-ooooooooohhhhhhs). When those two ingredients simmer to a boil, let the track cool down with some xylophone or chimes or any other “dreamy” sounding instrument. Combine all three of those elements, and you have successfully made Danny Elfman soup. All joking aside, I actually really enjoy Elfman’s work. Sure, this song sounds kind of like the rest of his movie score’s, but I guess if the recipe works, don’t change it.
Austin Lucas “Life I’ve Got”
I’m not honestly really sure how I feel about this track. I’ve listened to it twice now trying to figure out something I could say about it but I’m drawing a blank. It’s got an alt-country feel to it, but the dude singing (presumably Austin) sounds like he’s forcing a drawl or southern style accent. Which is awfully stupid. Why would you pretend to be from the South? I really don’t know what to say here. I would love to tell you that this song moved me in some way, either lyrically or musically, but it didn’t. I’m not sure if I will ever make it to listening to this full album, but if for some reason I do, I’ll make sure to fill you in on how it goes.
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Sister Machine Gun is a cool band and all, but I’m gonna go with Danny Elfman. Sure, a lot of his work kind of sounds the same, but he is at least consistent and never really disappoints. So cheers to Danny!
TURKEY OF THE WEEK: Austin Lucas for sure. I don’t really think this guy is that bad, but I just can’t get into it. I think he probably has some pretty good potential, but he was for sure the weakest song this week (you’re lucky Paul McCartney).
What was your favorite song this week? Let me know in the comments section!
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